Zach Bryan opened up to his fans on Tuesday (Nov. 18) about some hard, deeply meaningful work he’s done on himself over the past few months in an Instagram post about his sobriety and mental health journey. Along the way, the 29-year-old “Pink Skies” singer also revealed that he hasn’t touched any alcohol in two months after confronting what he described as his “toxic” relationship with booze.
“Recently, I went on a motorcycle trip across the country. For 20 days I camped and rode looking for a solution,” he wrote in the lengthy post. “At the end of this ride, I was sitting in a parking lot in Seattle, Washington thinking, ‘I really need some f–king help.’” The singer said that after spending a a decade in the Navy before being “thrown into the spotlight” that he wasn’t fully prepared for, he realized the “subconscious effects” of that sudden fame had on him.
“I was not content but I also feared showing weakness because that’s not who I am or how I was raised. To charge forward and to never settle was the motto,” he said. “I was stuck in a perpetual discontent that led me to always reaching for alcohol, not for the taste, but because there was a consistent black hole in me always needing its void filled.”
Bryan described the anxiety of being “lied about and doxxed” on the internet, as well as helping a close friend following a severe mental break and tending to another best friend who was put into a coma following a motorcycle accident while touring the country and playing five or six nights a week. The resulting stress led to what he described as “earth-shattering panic attacks” and “paralyzing” anxiety. “I thought since I was successful, had the money I always longed for, and had great friends, that I could tough anything out,” Bryan wrote.
He found a therapist and made what he called a “conscious decision to do something about my toxic relationship with booze” and how he copes with major life changes. Bryan then revealed that he hasn’t touched alcohol for nearly two months, something he did in search of his own “personal clarity. I needed to see the world objectively.” The singer said his family supported him on every step of his journey, with conversations about his future, possibly having children one day, his health and girlfriend Samantha Leonard’s happiness pushing him to prioritize not just himself, but his whole family.
“I feel great, I feel content, I feel whole,” Bryan wrote. “There is nothing I need to get me by anymore. If you or any of your friends are too tough, too scared or too stubborn to reach out, know that the most stubborn dumbass on the planet did and didn’t regret it.” Bryan concluded by saying that he doesn’t believe in absolutes, and that one day he might learn to control his habits. For now, though, he wanted fans to know that “it is okay to be weak at times and need help.”
In addition to the stresses Bryan addressed, he also went through a very public, messy breakup with former girlfriend podcaster Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia last year and then got into a dust-up with fellow country singer Gavin Adcock in September following months of back-and-forth.
In the caption, Bryan stressed that he knows he’s one of the luckiest men alive and didn’t share his thoughts in a “greater than thou” effort, but because he knows there are many other people out there silently battling mental health challenges alone. “I hope it helps someone struggling to find words when they’re down on their luck,” he said.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 800-662-HELP (4357) is available 24/7.
