Self Esteem: “I called myself Self Esteem because i didn’t have any”

In a raw and revealing new episode of the Mad, Sad + Bad podcast, British singer-songwriter Self Esteem (Rebecca Lucy Taylor) sits down with Paloma Faith to dismantle the myths of the music industry. As she approaches her 40th birthday, the “I’m Not Shy, It’s Just a Demeanour” singer opens up about the “slow death” of creative sustainability and the daily work of embodying her famous moniker.

Manifesting Confidence

Taylor’s stage name wasn’t born out of arrogance, but necessity. “I called myself Self Esteem because I didn’t have any, and this has given me it,” she admits. She describes the process as a daily manifestation to remind herself of her own worth in a business that often measures value through awards. “It’s insane to validate yourself on those things, but the lack of them—I’m like, well, I must be shit then.”

The “Red Pen” of the Industry

Reflecting on the pressures of being a woman in music, Taylor speaks candidly about the industry’s obsession with youth. “I’m 40 in October… as a woman in the music industry, it’s just in red pen ‘DONE NOW’.” This sense of urgency is compounded by the rise of AI and the widening class gap. Having navigated the business as a working-class artist for twenty years, she notes that the lack of a safety net makes art a secondary concern to survival. “How do I ever disconnect my brain from the fear of keeping a roof over my head to try and make the art?”

Anger and Authenticity

The conversation also touches on the gaslighting Taylor faced in her early career, including a “nasty bastard boyfriend” who labeled her “crazy.” She tells Paloma: “I’m not crazy. I’m just reacting perfectly reasonably to what is going on in terms of injustice.” Responding to critics who label her an “angry woman,” Taylor quips, “I’m disappointed in people who aren’t angry!”

Season three of Mad, Sad + Bad continues to explore the emotional landscapes of high-profile stars, with future guests including Mo Gilligan and Ellie Simmonds.

The Self Esteem episode of Mad, Sad + Bad drops tomorrow on all major podcast platforms.