Chappell Roan is looking for a “collective restful reset” in 2026 and reflecting on the emotional rollercoaster of the past year. In a personal newsletter to fans on Wednesday, Roan opened up about the challenges she faced — including nearly canceling the U.S. leg of her tour — as well as the moments of connection and creative renewal that helped her find her footing again.
“I was telling a friend that this year was the hardest year of my life yet. Most people have something to say whenever you tell them you just turned 27,” Roan wrote. “Whether it be a slight wince or an exciting ‘welcome to the beginning of your Saturn returning!’ I’ve experienced both.”
Roan shared that she was displaced by the fires that ran through Los Angeles in January and was forced to move to New York for several months, “jumping from rental to rental.” She also chose to leave behind social media for much of the year, took up learning Spanish, and started to watch more movies and read more.
“I tried to write new songs and got stumped,” she wrote, later adding: “I kind of substituted one engagement with culture for another. I didn’t realize how sick I was actually making myself. Doom scrolling made my brain feel actually unwell and my body gross and sluggish.”
The star also reflected on releasing “The Giver” and “The Subway.” About “The Giver,” Roan shared that she was happy with how it turned out, calling it a “very big risk” to put a song outside of her genre.
“I think it was necessary for my project’s character,” she said. “Also, to prove to myself that I don’t actually need the biggest song in the entire world to feel like a legit artist. I felt the love when I performed it live with everyone smiling and cheering, and singing along with me.”
Roan reflected that if it weren’t for a vacation she took in June with her friends in France, she wouldn’t have been able to get through the release of “The Subway.”
“When we shot the music video, I actually enjoyed being on set for the first time. Albeit, I was on beta blockers but it was also a dream come true!!” she wrote. “I couldn’t be more proud of the music video and the song and how her life has blossomed into what it is now.”
She added: “The post choruses were such a bitch to write and the fact that we released it was a miracle.”
The singer reflected on loving her costumes for Visions of Damsels and Other Dangerous Things, saying she loved the “theatrical fashion” she took on, especially the costume she wore in Mexico City with blood-red teeth and black contacts. “I find being weird is hotter to me than being traditionally sexy,” she wrote, later adding, “Playing shows for people across the world is such a privilege. I get to see places I had only ever dreamed about.”
The tour almost didn’t make it to the United States, though. Roan wrote that she “almost canceled” the American run because “I didn’t feel like I was mentally healthy enough.” Ultimately, she pushed through and she says she’s glad she did.
“I have such lifelong memorable experiences and it made me happy to perform in my hometown, New York, and LA,” she wrote. “Whenever I see an artist canceling a show or an entire tour, I don’t hold anything against them for whatever that reason may be. I know how hard that decision is and I feel really happy for them when I see that they’re taking care of themselves.”
For 2026? Roan says she anticipates that it’ll be “the year of taking care of myself and others and really engaging in a community that feels real and not online.” She says she’ll work to volunteer locally and donate to charities she believes in.
“I’m not sure how to end this letter besides thank you for bearing with me through such a year,” Roan wrote. “I feel like not many of us had a pleasant time and I hope that you’re taking care of yourself and others around you. Life is very hard and very dark, especially right now. I guess the next best thing to do is doing what helps yourself heal and be the best for this world.”
