Lily Allen has revealed she checked into a residential facility earlier this year after experiencing suicidal thoughts amid the breakdown of her marriage to David Harbour.
The Not Fair singer took a break from her podcast in January and checked into a residential centre in the U.S. due to her “spiralling” mental health following her split from the Stranger Things actor after four years of marriage.
During an interview with British Vogue on Friday, Allen explained that she went to a facility voluntarily for the first time because she was in a “very bleak” place.
“I’ve been into those places before against my will and I feel like that’s progress in itself,” she said. “That’s strength. I knew that the things I was feeling were too extreme to be able to manage, and I was like, ‘I need some time away.'”
When asked for specifics on what she was feeling at the time, the 40-year-old replied, “That I wanted to die.”
The Smile hitmaker also admitted that the break-up made her problem with not eating “really, really, really bad” and she came close to relapsing to escape her feelings.
“The feelings of despair that I was experiencing were so strong. The last time that I felt anything like that, drugs and alcohol were my way out, so it was excruciating to sit with those (feelings) and not use them,” said the star, who has been sober for six years.
Instead, to help her process the split, Allen wrote an album in 16 days in December 2024, including two tracks which reportedly allude to Harbour’s alleged infidelity. The British star insisted that the tracks should not be taken as “gospel”, although they were “inspired” by her marriage.
Looking back on that relationship, Allen acknowledged that “there were lots of good things” about it, adding, “My kids had an amazing experience living in America for five years, and I have a lot of compassion for my ex-husband. I think we all suffer.”
Allen shares daughters Ethel, 13, and Marnie, 12, with her first husband, Sam Cooper.
Her fifth album, which is currently untitled, is expected to be released later this year.
