Robbie Williams has launched a social media investigation to find out who the “hardest” 1990s boyband members were.
The former Take That singer took to Instagram on Monday (November 24), calling out to all of his fellow ‘90s boyband veterans to discuss a subject that he felt had “never been discussed enough…or at all”.
Citing a video in which Scottish comedian Limmy answered a question about who would win in a fight between Take That and their classic rivals East 17, Robbie asked: “Who’s the hardest individual member? Who’s the most game? Which group is the toughest unit? And if there were a ‘Ryder Cup’ of Boy Band Fighting – USA vs Europe – who wins?”
Williams began by breaking down the Take That-East 17 odds. “Howard [Donald] is bricks,” he wrote. “I was on Human Growth Hormone and I still couldn’t beat Howard in an arm wrestle.”
He went on to say Jason Orange would be “relentless, strong and awkward”, and pointed out that Gary Barlow was “the UK’s youngest black belt”, while describing himself as “a lump”.
Setting out the “fight card”, he pitted Donald against East 17’s Tony Mortimer and declared Donald the winner “all day” despite Mortimer’s martial arts background, calling his erstwhile bandmate “a panel beater by day, a ballroom dancer by night”.
He said a tie between Orange and John Hendy was “tough”, but Hendy was the winner because he is a “roofer”, while Orange is “literally having saunas in health spas”. He tipped himself to come out on top against Terry Coldwell and a “methodical and patient” Barlow to beat out a “scrappy but emotional” Brian Harvey.
Overall, he summarised that Take That take the contest 3-1, although he noted that “E17 would win in a bar fight because they would arrive tooted up”.
In terms of the Ryder Cup contest, he said Blue’s Antony Costa, Lee Ryan and Simon Webbe were all game, while he New Kids On The Block’s Joey McIntyre was “very dismissive” about Europe’s chances. “I mean, I get it,” Robbie responded. “Five lads from the mean streets of Boston. I’ve seen the films. But lads… can you do it on a cold, rainy night in Stoke?”
He went on flesh out his USA team, which included McIntyre’s former bandmates Donny Wahlberg and John Knight, as well as 98 Degrees’ Nick Lachey and Boyz II Men’s Wanya Morris and Michael McCary. The European team, he said, would be captained by Boyzone’s Keith Duffy, with bandmate Shane Lynch as his vice captain. Five’s Jason ‘J’ Brown also made the team.
Signing off his Instagram post, Robbie concluded: “This isn’t about violence. It’s about legacy. It’s about honour. It’s about settling the arguments nobody was having until I started them. History will decide.”
In a follow-up post earlier today (November 29), Robbie adjusted his Team Europe line-up, with Duffy and Lynch now joined by BBMak’s Ste McNally, who he said was “a 3-time World Kickboxing Champion”, as well as MN8’s G-Man and Bad Boys Inc’s Ally Begg, who he said looks “like a man who has seen war and misses it a bit”.
With that, Williams launched into a long fantasy about a film version of the Transatlantic boyband wars, which he has dubbed Boyband: The Abusical, and has described as “Billy Elliott meets John Wick meets Trainspotting meets The Full Monty.”
“It would be set up north, and we’d never explain why Kevin and AJ from Backstreet Boys live there. We wouldn’t have to,” he added.
“This is the start of a fully-fledged Boyband Cinematic Universe none of us asked for, but all of us clearly needed. If Marvel can have multiverses, then we can absolutely have Boyband: The Abusical. A national treasure in waiting. Up north. Unexplained.”
“History begins here,” he concluded. “Who’s with me?”
Several of Robbie’s fellow boyband members responded to his Instagram posts, including Costa, Coldwell, Five’s Ritchie Neville and Another Level’s Dane Bowers, while Mortimer wrote: “Back then we’d need a referee. Today we would need a chiropractor.”
Elsewhere, Williams recently described Lily Allen’s new album ‘West End Girl’ as “like Black Mirror meets Smash Hits”, while his own new album ‘BRITPOP’ is set to be released in 2026, after being delayed to avoid a clash with Taylor Swift. He has played his smallest-ever show in London to promote the record, and recently released a video for ‘Pretty Face’, in which he travels back in time to play on The Word.
